I'm Sorry, Damon Albarn

from Kaboomba! by Johnny Acecraft

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lyrics

I'm sorry, Damon Albarn, for throwing a shoe at your head. I think about my misdemeanour every time I go to bed. You were in the middle of Girls and Boys, I was in the middle of a crowd making so much noise. You were at the very height of your career, whereas I was just high, on Britpop and beer. This all happened some ten years ago so I thought it time to let you know that I'm sorry, Damon Albarn, for throwing a shoe at your head. I'm sorry, Damon Albarn, I never knew that my aim was so true. I had no idea that I could get you from there when my hand released that shoe. My foot struck an object lying on the ground, a sneaker that belonged with Lost and Found, but me, with the logic of a f****** c*** thought "It's safer with the bouncers down at the front", so I leaned right back and I gave it a throw, and now it's time to let you know that I am sorry, Damon Albarn, for throwing a shoe at your head. ‘No distance left to run’, ‘Pressure on Julian’, ’For tomorrow’, ‘This is a low’, ‘Jubilee’, ‘Entertain me’, ‘There's no other way’, ‘Bank holiday’. I'm sorry, Damon Albarn, for throwing a shoe at your head. If only I'd have had more time to think I'd have throw it at Alex James instead. But how was I to know he would disease our TVs with irksome shows about cultivating cheese? I wonder if it was my shoe-to-head thriller that made you transform into a gorilla? Either way I'm sorry I wrecked your show and I thought that I would let you know that I am sorry, Damon Albarn, for throwing a shoe at your head.

credits

from Kaboomba!, released July 30, 2009
Written by J. Hinton
Featuring Deacon Don on percussion

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