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Did anyone ever tell you that unicorns don’t exist?
Well you tell them they’re in for a surprise.
They just weren’t looking close enough, and somehow must have missed
Seventy-five thousand unicorns living underneath the Arctic ice.

It’s a unicorn!
But in truth
That horn’s a tooth.

Unicorns are real
They live up near the polar bear, the walrus and the seal.
You may guess they use that tooth to spear themselves a meal,
But now science can reveal
That they just use them to feel.

It’s a unicorn!
But of course,
It’s not a horse.

Interestingly though, both horses and this type of animal that I’m talking about, which obviously isn’t called a ‘unicorn’ by scientists, are classed as ungulates, which means “hooved”, though it’s through water this one moves
So it has no need for knees nor legs nor hooves.
Nor can it trot nor gallop, nor swat flies with its tail,
For the real unicorn’s a type of whale.

It’s a unicorn!
But we call it a narwhal.

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from Ensonglopedia of Animals, released October 15, 2018

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