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lyrics

It is highly pleasurable, I have to say,
To be offered the fine distinction (piano accompaniment joins in)
Of such a warm reception to the USA
And a professorship and Princeton
University
How can you be so good to me?
It’s really disturbing
I’m quite undeserving
Of such a generous salary.
I know there’s some of you out there who thought you’d never convince me to take up this position.
People said I should not come
They said this part of the world was glum
They said “Choose Paris or London
But not the USA!”
Hey!
They said that I should steer well clear
They said there is no science here
My joie de vivre would disappear
And I’d grow old and grey.
But I said, “It’s an offer I cannot pass!
I won’t have to teach a single class!
And the pay will easily surpass
My dreams – I’ve got to take it!
To turn that down would be really dumb,
Plus this way my distance from
Those horrid fascist Nazi scum
Is as far as I can make it.
Still people said “No, don’t go there!
It would be more than you can bear.
Choose Asia, Australasia, anywhere
But not the USA!
Hey!
Take heed!” my trusted peer group hollars,
“You don’t need their wads of stinky dollars,
They don’t deserve such high-class scholars
They’ll drive you to dismay.”
God knows there are those
Who will readily suppose
That the best work of my life is behind me,
That to hire an old fart like this
Really takes the piss
And I’m not up to the task you have assigned me.
To that I say, you could be right.
My work now may be tired and trite.
But hey, I’ve answered your invite.
So deal with it, you’ve bought me.
And I have severed all my ties
With Germany, since the Führer’s rise,
That grease-haired bigot I despise,
So please do not deport me.
They said “You don’t want to be in America
‘Cos you’ll be bored in the USA
Don’t wanna be a part of it
New York, New York,
So pretty soon you’ll be cursin’, cursin’ USA
Don’t wanna be an American idiot.
But still I chose the USA
Hurray!

credits

from Albert Einstein: Relativitively Speaking, released November 14, 2013

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