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lyrics

Birth
What’s it worth?
It’s hardly laugh-a-minute mirth.
Trying to fit my girth
Through your bum, mum.

Birth
Take the strain,
And laughing gas to allay the pain,
As I squeeze my massive brain
Through your bum, mum.

What do you mean, that’s not your bum?
I might be young, but I’m not that dumb!
Oh! There’s a hole between the holes
through which you poo and through which you pee
Out of which pops me!

Isn’t it a pity
Birth’s not more pretty
And that that there hole is so itty bitty?
But isn’t it rad
That this little lad
Will finally get to hang out with his mum and dad?
But isn’t it crazy
That of all species we may be
The only ones who need medical help to have a baby?
But isn’t it brill
That with modern midwives’ skill
In this day and age birth is less likely to kill?
But isn’t it a shame
We don’t all suffer the same
And the one who takes the brunt of the pain is the dame?
But isn’t it grand
That help is at hand
For my mum who gets an oxytocin hit from her pituitary gland?

Birth
It’s the first
Chance I get to see the Earth,
But it’s unfortunate
The first sight I get
Is of your bum, mum.

credits

from Ensonglopedia of the Human, released July 18, 2021

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